Farts and Crafts

We Aren't Accepting New Orders Until August

2008-07-07T09:15:00.002-05:00

We know you've been dying to buy that Fart you've had your eye on, but we here at Farts & Crafts have decided not to take on any new orders until Pitchfork is done. There are only two of us, and we both have full-time "real" jobs, so we don't really relish the idea of being drenched in cross stitch for the next month.

But please don't forget us! And if you come to Pitchfork, please look for us in the DEPART-ment tent!

Thanks!

Good News, Chicago

2008-06-18T10:24:00.002-05:00

We will be selling our Farts at the Pitchfork Music Festival this year, via DEPART-ment! If you're planning on coming to the festival, make sure you stop by and check us out!

http://www.pitchforkmusicfestival.com

The Wonders of the IntarWeb

2008-06-10T11:09:00.004-05:00

I stumbled across this today via Google Images.

Not only did Tim Heidecker put my picture on his Tim & Eric blog, it was also "threadspotted" over at Threadless (my favorite t-shirt site -- I own over 2 dozen of their shirts).

More For Sale

2008-04-30T11:43:00.002-05:00

We just put up three new farts in our Etsy store:

1 Don't Be a Douchebag
1 d20
1 You Taste Like a Burger

Buy them so my life seems worthwhile. They're $30 each, plus $5 for s/h.

http://fartsncrafts.etsy.com

We love you all.

Chippy Goes to a Deserving Home

2008-04-28T10:14:00.002-05:00

I hope Tim & Eric love their Chippy.

Fart #23 - Foux Du Fafa, version 2.0

2008-04-25T15:52:00.003-05:00

Apparently I can't spell nonsensical French. So I re-did this one according to the spelling on Sub-Pop's website.

Fart #25 - That's What She Said

2008-04-17T16:13:00.002-05:00

For all you Dunder Mifflin fans out there.

Chippy, I'm Worried About You

2008-04-08T14:55:00.005-05:00

Today I had the unbelievable experience of running into none other than Tim Heidecker on the streets of West Hollywood. The gods were smiling upon me, as I was currently in the process of stitching a "Where's My Chippy?" fart and I got to show him my handiwork. He seemed genuinely impressed and even got his own picture of me showcasing the work-in-progress!

I plan on finishing it before April 27, when I see Tim & Eric Awesome Tour in Chicago, and giving it to him when it's all framed and lookin' good.

Thanks, Tim Heidecker!

Buy Our Shit!

2008-02-27T09:39:00.003-06:00

As of this morning, three more farts are available in our Etsy store:

- 1 Zordon Is My Homeboy

- 1 You Flooze, You Lose

- 1 Don't Be a Douchebag

Hurry, before these one-of-a-kind items wind up in someone else's apartment! AND THANK YOU.

Also, here is a visual testimonial from one of our satisfied customers:

Fart #24 - You Taste Like a Burger

2008-02-26T17:19:00.002-06:00

It's just barbecue sauce! C'mon, I wanna make out! Designed by Lindsey Post.

Love For Sale

2008-02-26T15:59:00.002-06:00

Head's up, everyone! There will be three new additions to our Etsy store tomorrow! We're releasing:

- 1 Don't Be a Douchebag
- 1 Zordon
- 1 Flooze

So get your Paypal accounts ready!

Fart #23 - Foux De Fa Fa

2008-02-11T14:03:00.001-06:00

It's business time. Designed by Betsy Hobbs.

Fart #22 - Bi-Curious

2008-02-11T09:44:00.001-06:00

This one's for all you lovers out there. Designed by Betsy Hobbs.

Fart #21 - Montana

2008-02-07T14:10:00.001-06:00

Don't tell the coppers. Inspired by Drew Eenigenburg, designed by Betsy Hobbs.

Fart #20 - d20 (Our 20th Design!)

2008-02-06T14:22:00.002-06:00

Picture me rollin'. Designed by Betsy Hobbs.

Fart #19 - Juggernaut

2008-02-06T10:50:00.001-06:00

Charles, no! Designed by Kyle Huizenga.

Fart #17 - Agent Cooper

2008-01-30T15:59:00.001-06:00

That gum you like is going to come back in style. Designed by Betsy Hobbs.

Fart #15 - Flooze

2008-01-29T09:10:00.004-06:00

It's true. You might get herpes. Designed by Lindsey Post. (The herpes, not the pattern.)

Fart #16 - Ambition

2008-01-29T09:09:00.003-06:00

Ambition, designed by Lindsey Post.

I'm Still Here!

2008-01-24T16:36:00.001-06:00

We've got three more creations for sale up on Etsy. Chippy has already bid farewell. There are a handful of designs set to be framed, and then I got sick for about a week. But now I'm feeling normal again, so those should be available shortly.

In the meantime, why don't you leave us a comment? Let us know which design is your favorite, which design you'd be interested in purchasing, which set of "Power Rangers" was the best, etc.

And They're Off!

2008-01-15T10:04:00.000-06:00

The first set of four (had some trouble with the others) has been released for sale at:

http://fartsncrafts.etsy.com

Enjoy! More to come!

Farts & Crafts Release #1

2008-01-10T09:07:00.001-06:00

I am happy to announce that Farts & Crafts will be releasing eight designs this coming Monday (Jan. 12) on http://www.etsy.com. (A specific link for my Etsy store will be posted Monday.)

The designs to be sold are:

Where's My Chippy
Go Jamaica!
Ice Is Back
Don't Be a Douchebag
Ill Yourself
Hey McFly
Elephants Never Forget

As of right now, only one of each will be available (except for Don't Be a Douchebag, of which there will be two). They will be sold, complete with frame, for $30 + s/h.

Stay tuned!

Happy New Year!

2008-01-04T10:10:00.000-06:00

Between days off of work for the holidays and my parents' dial-up Internet, I haven't been able to post very much recently. But I've been lucky enough to recruit my good friend Lindsey for help in stitching, and she's been doing a fantastic job. She's already completed three patterns!

Here's an update as regards purchasing a genuine Farts & Crafts item. I need to make some finishing touches to a few and then they will be ready to be sold. I will be transacting my biznass through http://www.etsy.com, because not only is it a great site, it also rhymes with my name. So it's pretty much destiny. The price will be $30 per product, plus shipping and handling, and that includes a frame.

So keep your browser here for more news as 2008 progresses! Thanks!

Fart #18 - Razzle Dazzle

2007-12-20T14:28:00.002-06:00

Is it the shoes?

Fart #14 - BRB

2007-12-19T15:07:00.002-06:00

LOL.

Fart #7 - Zordon

2007-12-18T14:15:00.003-06:00

Alpha ain't so bad herself.

Fart #8 - Shaq Fu

2007-12-18T14:12:00.002-06:00

Kazaam!

Fart #12 - Hey McFly

2007-12-18T14:11:00.003-06:00

Fart #6 - Don't Be a Douchebag

2007-12-18T14:05:00.006-06:00

Just don't. It makes the world a better place.

Fart #13 - Ill Yourself

2007-12-18T14:05:00.005-06:00

Fart #5 - Chippy

2007-12-18T14:04:00.002-06:00

Tim Heidecker & Eric Wareheim are geniuses.

"Chippy, I'm worried about you. Come out, please."

Fart #10 - The Beastly Progressive South

2007-12-18T14:02:00.002-06:00

A design inspired by The Game with No Name. Tim seemed to think it would make a good porn title.

Fart #9 - Your Mom

2007-12-17T14:18:00.002-06:00

It is. I'm hiding it under my mattress.

Fart #11 - Beaker

2007-12-17T12:57:00.003-06:00

The man, the myth, the Muppet.

Fart #2 - Elephants Never Forget, ver. 2.0

2007-12-17T12:55:00.003-06:00

I revised the design so that it could fit into a 5x7 frame. Now all of my designs fit within the same framework. This meant changing the fonts a little bit, but I don't think it detracts from the...uh...message?

Fart #4 - Ice Is Back

2007-12-13T09:41:00.003-06:00

Give this one to your boss.

Fart #3 - Go Jamaica!

2007-12-12T15:40:00.004-06:00

How inspirational!

Fart #1 - Mustache

2007-12-11T13:15:00.002-06:00

My first design, "Mustache."